Just Got Invited to Church

Hey. How does one politely turn down multiple invitations to go to Church?
I am done with the Church scene. Did it from birth through eighth grade, then again as an adult for a minute. Got left with the same feelings. Guilt, money, ritual, conform or burn in hell. Jesus was a great teacher, as was Buddha, Allah, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr. and so on including some living such as Nelson Mandella and of course Oprah and Dr. Phil.
I cannot subscribe to the exclusivity and much more I'd prefer not to critique.... as I love my friends, Dogma and all.
Anyway, I agreed to go bring myself and my kiddos to a gospel music presentation to hear my neighbor sing (I really want to do that). Then comes this invitation to go to church when there's food (are you kidding me)? I so don't want to offend my neighbor, but I don't think Louisianna Feast is going to bring me back home to Jesus. Are they trying to save my godforsaken soul?
WWOD?

Baby Daddy Blues

Guess I'm playing off of the lost love, but I'll call mine baby daddy blues. Hear the blues playing now.....
Aint got no money
Cant buy me no booze
Just smoked my last stogey
And the kids just wont snooze
And its soo hard, waitin around for the support
I got the baby daddy blues
Got one with two warrants
The other got no job
Nobody picks up the kids
And I cant masturbate
And its so hard, waitin around for these guys
I got the baby daddy blues

I know its so cheezy, but I'm cheezily inspired.

Please, wait just a minute mister postman

Well, if there is one thing that reminds you to let your life organically unfold for you and be present it is birth. And not just the fun parts where you're working hard, and really feeling useful and necessary. Even moreso, the parts where you are so neutral and non-attached to the action, the results, the possibilities of the near future. I find myself saying to moms in labor who are doubting, " this is the only moment we have, and it is temporary". No room for stories, or worry about whats been done, how much is to come, just right now.... its way easier to hold on to and let go of than a big story about whats been happening and whats going to happen. What about when I'm just waiting??? Well, if I get a big story about how I've waited so long, and god knows how much longer I'll wait, its so hard not to be exhausted and attached to results. But when I just know that its right, and that I'll be where I'm needed, I can read a book, drink a beer, walk my dog, love my kids, sleep guiltlessly, eat nutritively. Still, I cant stop waiting for the mailman.
Practicing this non attachment is great for parenting and just being, but its way easier with birth, except for when its not. And no matter what, I'm always speculating about the mailman.
Somebody cool should teach me how to import music on my blog. I really like sound effects.

Phrases made to piss people off

Yup.
Phrases made to piss people off:
No offense but...
I'm not a racist but...
It is what it is.
You know what I mean?
You could give a bottle of asprin a headache.
You could give the pope a headache.
I dont know whether its Tuesday or August.
A watched pot never boils.
Thats the pot calling the kettle black.
I dont mean to intrude, but...
Is that a family name?
Are you having twins?
Why dont you just....
You should...

One day I will evaluate the truth of these statements.
You know what I mean doesn't piss me off, really, I kind of enjoy it.
It is what it is seems to be a tossed around favorite that is always true, except when it isn't, so that doesn't really piss me off either.
The old cliches, are nostalgic and therefore appropriate when not overused. Particularly if one can catch an overuser on a jinks.

Notice what statements instantly give you permission to stop listening to someone. Let me know what they are, I'm interested. I think I'm onto something here.

Procrastination

I am procrastinating in a major way.
I have many things to do.
1. Decide if I'm going to teach Power Yoga in the fall & call the studio
2. Laundry
3. Dishes
4. Finish Real Estate computer stuff
5. Prepare for class tomorrow
6. Turn the laundry room into a pantry
7. Schedule 12 appointments
Know what I'm doing instead?
Blogging. Yup, blogging & downloading my cds into my itunes, and seriously considering making a pot of coffee & smoking cigarettes & making cds & reading.
I wonder how cool I would be if I didn't procrastinate?
If a mom does the laundry & dishes & no one notices, did she really do the dishes and laundry?

Birth on the brain

I was just looking at the entertainment news & Matthew McC was talking about his wife's 60 hour birth resulting in a cesarean. I dont always find celeb life that fascinating, but it is nice to balance when we hear about all of the "too posh to push" ladies in the limelight. He actually shared his experience of how the journey of birth was a strength builder for he and his partner. It was short an to the point, but the fact that he valued the journey is what I admire. It was put so well, I'd consider sharing it with my childbirth classes. http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=9187810&ch=4226715&src=news
Obviously, I have birth on the brain.
Having supported lots of families giving birth, the hardest part is recognizing when things don't go as planned, that it is not a failure of the woman or her body or her will.
Care provider is a critical choice, location as well. How prepared a woman & her partner are for discussing choices and the timing of those choices. If one has a care provider they can trust & talk with, that makes a huge difference. When the care provider says I do it this way, and the parents say, well my doc does it this way... that is way different from a provider who will discuss why, how often, and be willing to be patient with the process as long as no one is in danger. By danger I mean a clear indication that something isn't right.... not a race against the clock.
If you went to a restaurant and said I need my steak well done, or my vegetables without butter, and the chef said, well I only serve my vegetables with butter and only serve steak rare would you keep going to that restaurant?
It is your life your baby your experience. Have it your way. There are care providers out there who will do it your way.
Birth is a rare occasion for families, and not vindictively, it is another day in labor & delivery for the folks who work there everyday. If you know what you want, and you talk about it before you are in the throws of it, you are much more likely to gain the experience you desire.
I say gain the experience you desire because it is a journey, and the journey isn't always an unmedicated vaginal birth resulting in cupcakes and lollipops and easy breastfeeding. It is the way you go about the whole trip. How you approach it, how you listen to your body, your baby, your partner, your intuition. How you make decisions and how all of the stuff that happens helps you to be prepared for parenting your baby. How you and your partner (if you have one) get what it takes to parent together, helping partner bond with baby and mom.
When your partner is the same sex. Its a partnership journey no matter if you are gay or straight. The fear of being treated differently or feeling modest about how you are able to connect is very real (its real for straight people too! it is hard to be intimate in the hospital setting no matter who you are) but when you feel judged or uncomfortable, its really sucky. Creating a support team that is safe and comfortable is like a force field around your experience.
When you don't have a partner. Its still a journey. And I hope you have somebody on your team. It means you dig deep down within yourself and get the hard work of labor is paralleled with the hard work of parenting. Parenting alone means not expecting anyone else to do the hard work for you or share the joys and exhaustion with you. It also means knowing when to ask for help. Reaching out, connecting with others and acknowledging that this experience, life, birth, parenting was not meant to be an isolated alone thing. Find your tribe, your resources and really really make them your family.
When your partner is unsupportive. Ever notice how all the shit hits the fan at the wedding, or Christmas dinner? If you think a shitty partnership is going to get better from having a baby together, good luck. Get the ugly stuff out of the way before you go into labor because that is not the time to fix it, and its not going to help things move along if you're resenting Bluto/Olive Oil for all the stuff he/she isn't. Talk about your strengths and weaknesses and what you want to be and what you dont want to be and what you're afraid of before you are contracting five minutes apart.
When your care provider seems great & ends up being full of shit. Its your decision. Know what is dangerous and what is not, ask your nurse. Get a doula. Find a provider that isn't full of shit.
Bless all.

Ranty Blubber

I read this quote yesterday, cant give props....
Everytime you judge yourself, you break your own heart.
I've been thinking of how pissed I am that my clothes are too tight. Then I recalled a conversation about how many of us women have spent our entire lives saying... I'm so fat, if only I were thinner, my ass is huge... even when we weren't fat. In essence, if we create our own realities, the mere belief "I'm so fat" has manifested this state of being a four wasn't small enough, an eight wasnt small enough and up and up and down and back up. I am willing to tell myself I love my healthy body now. But that's not all... I realized what an excellent learning experience it is for me (I know I have will power, and determination and all of that), but to learn to get it that my worth is not determined by how cute I look in my jeans, or how much I put out or whatever other wierd crap I had no connection with until this crossed my mind two hours ago. That I am completely whole and loveable cellulite and all. Also, this came to mind because of someone I love complaining about their flabby arms. I noticed that it was less offensive (I used to get offended by skinny people telling me how fat they were), and by them referring to someone's size as though it were a character trait... anyway, it was less offensive and more eye opening that self loathing serves no one and particularly the collective consciousness which would benefit greatly from a bit more kindness on earth. If we cant be kind to ourselves, how can we truly be intimate and honest with others?

Practicing Acceptance

Today is a day for practicing acceptance. When we let go of our percieved control over circumstances, others and wanting, we make room for the already perfect (like it or not) experience we are having. Its great when we can be non attached observers, willing to experience. The alternative isn't horrible and will ultimately (who knows when) bring us to the same resolve.... So feel free to have a big old freaking temper tantrum. Kick & scream and bitch about how this isn't how you want it to be. Analyze it till you're blue in the face. Just be compassionate with yourself and remember, somebody loves you.

Day Five

Eventually, I assume I'll have enough to say that a title will be appropriate. I think maybe that can be my goal for tomorrow. Something I always had a knack for as an aspiring author in elementary school was coming up with really catchy titles for bound to be bestsellers.... then some intelligent soul (Kris) would remind me that the title would be born out of the writing & not the other way around. I remember I wrote this great poem for her, then I think in my adolescent self depricating, I ripped it to shreads....
It went something like this
BOYS
Who are these silly pieces of dirt?
All they ever do is flirt!

Thats all I remember, but I'm pretty sure it was one full page.

Tomorrow is my birthday number 32.

My new motto is Make Today Count

Peace